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  • THE IMPORTANCE OF FEELING UGLY


    She paints her finger with a close precision; her words keep swimming through his ears again. She stared at him, wondering what was going on through his vague mind; she wanted him to quit being mute and just reveal more. More about his affection towards her, she hates him but can’t resist loving everything about him; first his trim and sporty stature attracted her to him it made her want to walk across the boulevard of every street with him. Then the elaborate hairstyle, body spray and clean-knitted outfits he rocks always unintentionally conjure her attention, whenever he doesn’t say hello to her she feels ugly and neglected.
    Nowadays, she’s got the guy, here is a good-looking man and a lady that survives on prosthetic make-up kit; there is a mind game on going in the room. After lying with her at night, he awakes in the morning and leaves without uttering a word. She’s caught in a disarray of dilemma about the direction of the relationship, haven’t aborted twice before the age of 18 for her Adonis, she feels lost in her life but the reality is she doesn’t even know what she’s looking for.
    Whenever she tries to hate him she remembers she always wanted a fine boy by her side, someone to occupy the room of her physical inferiority and internal insecurity, a man that can make her feel beautiful amidst her discrepancies. She’s spent her time, money and energy in preserving the one-sided affair that she tags a “relationship”, nonetheless her man sees her as “a good friend and cupcake sister.” She breaks down in tears and melts like a night candle…she just can’t envisage how to impress the man.
    Her heart is clogged with the psychological ailment he’s put her through; she has always been obsequious to engage in surreptitious events with him, she can’t stop to think about it. It’s obvious that she doesn’t mean a thing to him but nonetheless she’s a lady that believes in Cinderella and Snow white fairytale stories, in her mind she’ll fight for love because her man must compulsorily be tall, fit and handsome, she has just began her ultimate search.
    She keeps looking for love in negative spaces, she wonders why he hates everything about her, is she too ugly for him or just not enough? What’s the standard to be in a happy relationship? She ponders in her tantrums.
    # MorninGinger # TheImportanceOfFeelingUgly

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